When I feel like crying I will never make it; but when I cried out. I'll lost control. Like just now. I don't know what happened and I just hidden my head in my bolster, I cried.
By that time I didn't really know how to get rid of the matter. I didn't even know how to manage my mind. I felt so helpless. Jinn was trying to cheer me up after that. It didn't really work but.. she's also unhappy and I can't do anything for her.
Don't know why everything like just back to the beginning, the beginning that we broke up. I can feel the pain. Aiks.. Heartache.. It hurts me.
I've cleared up my mind! I can't let it goes along with me to the following years, the following days. I don't wanna bring it all along my life. I know it still hurt. I allow myself to recall that when I think of that. But I have to control. I dont wanna let myself feel down or moody while think of it... After it flows to my mind and I have to let it go as well.
Two days. I just left 2 more days. Then.. I won't let you to be a part of the things that bothering me. No more...