Monday, October 03, 2005

kinda complicated...

Went to.. I don't know what's de shop's name, just know it's same row with Irelax cyber cafe. Went there with Boy. Jason and Anson were there when we arrived. Just chilled a while then Boy and me were playing congkak. Ha! I'm an excellent player for congkak since I was primary school lar.. Ha, ha, ha.. I don't know how many times we played but I just know he didn't beat me down! Haha!Then we went to Irelax there, just left me, San, Jinn, BOt and Anson. We were playing pool there. Hm.. Having fun also lar..Before coming back we hanged out at EP park while drizzling then rained heavily.. I'm so tired.. Jinn seems like has some problem these days. I'm right. It;s about her love affair.. I thought 'bout mine..Yea, if without Simpson I think I'm not yet letting go that easy. Sometimes I'm still thinking that is it I have to strive for what I want and to get together with who I love? No, actually I don't want that anymore cause I don't want myself to suffer into this stuffs and get myself into trobles.. It is very miserable. I know that.. Do U understand? I really know what's ur oponion. I'll stand as an onlooker status to look at that. Not only for myself but when I look at my friend's, I know that. I'm so scared now. I'm afraid that things will not go that easy as I thought when I go back. I'm afraid that what he does or what he says will influence my emotion. I don't want that.. At the beginning I was thinking how am I going to face him? But after that, I found that that is not my fault. I don't need to feel guilty on that. If yes, he is the one who doesn't know how to face me.. But I don't wish that this would happen on him and me. I just want everything to be neutral and normal..Family and friends are everything for me now. Love? So far no longer is..

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