Wednesday, September 14, 2005


I was on my bed. Twisting and turning since 12a.m. to 1 something. I know I was almost asleep though de music still I can hear. But my mind was still running, running 'bout my studies, my family.. Felt hard to breath and my tears dropped again while I thought of mum's financial promble. I nearly scream out that time.. It's kinda scary..
Suddenly Jinn came back. She looked different cause usually after she comes back from outdoor, she'll online, opens de music, takes her bath. But that moment, she shut down her notebook, straightly went on bed. I heard someone sobbed by de time. Later then, I got San's called. I knew there're some prob btw them.
I asked Jinn whether she's alright or not and after that she told me her prob. Now she's avoiding Sumay cause she's lazy to explain so much. She skipped today's class which is 10-12 and she went to library with me while I wanted to go to class at 2. Her purpose is wanna away from Sumay.
She broke up with San is because she has not lay down one of her previous bf. She feels guilt while San treated her so good and her mind was thinking about another guy that not worth to think at all.
This reminded me something. Perhaps he felt guilty when I treated him so well cause there's someone in his heart? Whatever.. This is not important anymore.
That guy treated her not good. But that person's bad attitude to you wouldn't let you lay him down. Maybe it only will makes you hate him. The more you hate him, the difficult to you for laying him down.. Only you yourself can lead you to lay down or not to lay down. That's all..
If say that I understand Jinn's feeling, not really cause I'm not in the same condition with her; If say that I understand San's feeling, erm.. Not really. But I think I understand Jinn's feeling on her previous bf. I know what to do and I know what should she do but I don't know how to tell her that.
When something that you feel it's same with yours happened, you will never know how to console them. Maybe you know how to console them cause always saying is easy than taking action right? I don't know how to console her cause what I wanted to tell her I should let myself know first right? So sarcastic if I tell her what to do cause I'm also facing it.
So far, I think it still proceeds well.. Hope it'll maintain.. :)

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