Monday, August 29, 2005

Life's transformation site...

Came back from JB, taken my bath, sitting in front of my pc before finish my maths..
Loon called me yesterday- mid night. Life's transformation site? Yea, human would facing it. Mine? Just a little transform.. But it had make me a mass of bruises.. Not only my life changes, though just a lil bit- I'm just changing a new environment to study and live. That is nothing to compare with others who is working now. Esp chean, he started full time job after graduated. However, there's another thing that changes me a lot. Perhaps compare with other my problem is just a small matter or even nothing.. but it's able to take my breath away...
In days, I don't know why I can stay well and handle everything nicely. I can tell myself that everything is over and.. I just know that I'm not that weak to beat up.. I can even feel that I'm.. ..I'm strong...
But at night? usually when I wanted to go on my bed that is because my eyes are heavy and sleepy.. When it's de time for me to sleep but I'm not yet sleepy, I'm afraid.. I become weak that time.. I'll think a lot.. Frankly, many symptoms make me feel that I still couldn't lay him down. I know that. I'm just deny it cz i want to let go.. (am I really wanna let go?)
Now.. The day not yet in de darkness.. I don't know why I'm damn moody.. So upset..
Got her msg few min ago, it's true," It's hard to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do.."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

it's not going to be easy. trust me. it's gonna be hard, you feel like you lose a part of yourself. you feel empty.

but NEVER say that you wanna give up.

there are people out there... who seriously care about you.

Sashiki~ said...

Hey gal....Know that u 'd put in a lot of effort to pass through all this.I can feel ur sadness through ur words. U r brave..really. It's great that u can control urself as I know it's very hard, even for me, I cant do it better than u. But what I'm sure is that, u got lots of good frenzz n there r just bside u...U can think as much as u can or cry as much as u can, as long as u get better after that expresion...Call me or msg me anytime ok..I'll be there for u.**hugZz*