Grudge?

Got Loon's call just now. He asked me bout G's stuff. He just knew that we broke up. Maybe I just finished Armageddon and it influenced my emotion. When talked bout that, my eyes got wet again. The feeling was like after breaking up not long ago.
Before that I was wondering.. Or manybe can say that sometime really feel like wanna ask him properly that what's going on.. But my intellect tells me that that is useless for me to ask him. I know, I wont get that answer or perhaps I'll get hurt again. I don't want that to happen anymore..
Feel that I'm so lousy.. can't even strengthen myself. Kept miss-calling Loon. Thought that he'll ask him something.. He told me if de reason that G wanted to break up with me is " I treated him too well".. Then that was an excuse. "He felt guilty bcz he feels that I treated him too well so he broke up with me..", what de hell that I was talking about.. Feel like I was just finding excuse for him and for myself indeed. Why I wanted to find him an excuse? Somemore this stupid excuse.. Ha, ha.. So sarcastic..
Loon was asking me whether wanna know something or what.. I said no. Everyting is already passed and I know what he's gonna say- maybe.. But my mind? I know my mind wants to know about it although I rejeceted. Loon told me that he just want to know what is G thinking now.. Why suddenly everything became like that.. Is it a sudden? I don't know..