Sunday, August 07, 2005

Fragile heart..

A fragile was broken before.. I don't think it could endure another pain..
Dont let your past destroy what comes tomorrow, safe our heart for care and loving too. It's hard, I know.. but one thing for show, dun go and break this fragile heart..
See what's de time now? I'm still awake.. Still can't accept what is happening now.. his attitude..his changes are not accepted!! I hate him..
I realized.. dun let guys take part in ur life.. I used to think that love is very important for me- a cancer girl.. But now.. Please... go as far as u could!... I dun need you. De most important thingy is only myself! something appeared in my mind this morning. Business woman? No longer de only target in my mind! I wanna be a phychologist.. I don't know why.. Or it can say that not a phychologist but a business woman that learns phychology...? weird?
Yea.. I can cry in de night.. but not in front of people.. But.. mayb i'll cry in front of my best friend.. I'm weak infront of them..Exspecially Tamm.. I dunno y..everytime when s.thing happen to me, she's de 1st one i think of..
I feel so ashame on myself u know... I nearly gv everything to him..nearly... Luckily i still keep it well... I believed true love. He loved me so much last time. When I see summer n zuyi, I feel that this couple looks so similiar with me n him.. Last time i mean... That's y i believe true love.. I thought he's my Mr. Right althought last time i think i still hv to look forward to try something new..
Girls.. u shouldn't let a guy knows that how much u love him.. you'll regret 1 day! Last time my friends used to blame me on my attituted to my guy. I always say de opposite thingy on in my mind.. for short is- "si ai bin"... After that ii learnt how to express my feeling to who i like.. But what did i get? I get dumped! damn! still remember tat time in gurney hotel which farewell with louie, I told him(yb) i like him vy much. Thought this will makes him touched and love me more..HA, HA, HA!! NO! I was wrong!
The 2nd time. I told that jerk i really like him. I wanna be with him...See? what's de ending?
Last time i was worry bout how can i find a guy like him? treated me so real.. I can dun need to care my image in front of him. I can burping.. lauging loudly.. fighting etc... Everything.. I tols him everything.. When we were on de phone, i'll talking non-stop, except when i was in de bad mood or angry with him, he knew that cz that tme i wont talk much but just "em..ah..oo.."... So that time i was afraid i couldn't find a guy like him.. Now? I dun hv this mind anymore. He's not that G anymore. He changed. changed untill u couldn't imagine. Mayb he's still himself just de only change was he dun love me anymore. What "i'll love u 4eva".."bi, love u...".."bi..miss u so much.."..wat "dear" la...Ha!! fuck him! but i still believe what he said that time were real. When u have de feeling to say that, u'll say it. But since de vy 1st time. I said:''please dun say de 'forever' thingy...I dun like to hear that!!'' cz i know that's impossible...see? it becomes reallity... When think back.. I scratched my head.. really can't imagine, can't accept.. But what can i do? I have to accept that... I'm no longer a little girl anymore isn't it? So glad i grow again... Her msg are vy useful to me.. that's y i still keep it.. Thanks ya my s-friend...
Wont anymore... this time de love affairs really disappear from my mind.. Mr. Right? HA! I think i better believe on myself...


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volpedue said...

Keep crying, keep raging, keep feeling. Hatred, love, despair, joy and tears... but never surrender to the cold depression.

You'll shine.

cynthia said...

No w I only get to see your blog.. sorry for the late.. as your friend.. I dunno what can I go to console you...maybe you alr fine from that..nothing can beat you down...right?? espeacially guy like that... I know you will become strong..maybe more stronger than me..:P i feel that..I'm not longer the strongest's gal...when u're down..dun keep it in your heart.. try to say it out... to me instead:) maybe i cant help u.. but i can listen to u.. remember!! gal cant easily beat down by those stupid guy.. i know you sure can stand up as soon as possible...right?? good luck to you~~