denying..

I was doing my business maths in my room, alone. It was very peace around. Just sens's revolving. When I'm gonna finish it, I was getting moody without self conscious. I went down to ep park, sent a msg to her n her. No matter how I told them that I'm fine and enjoy my life here, I was lying.. I'm a liar! All along I'm unhappy.. Met put when I was going up to my room, I pretended like didn't see her but then she called me. I smiled at her, a fake smile... Damn fake smlie. Even me myself get shocked after turned away. I'm honest to my blog, cz this is de only way I can express my feeling. But when people asking bout me, I tell lies.
Feel like de distance between me n her is getting far.. I was thinking, maybe she's tired on my stories d. I don't know her stuffs. But I used to tell her everything that happened on me.. Recently I dare not to tell her, cz i got de feeling, feel that she's tired to listen to me anymore. I got no courage to lean on her, got no courage to borrow her shoulder.. Are U still with me?