I do have grudge against him...

I won't deny... I have grudge against this guy..
I don't have such feeling when I meet him or talk about him with friends.. But.. When I'm alone, listening to de song.. It makes me hate him.. I keep asking myself.. Why he wanna did this to me?
I'm listening to Because of You again.. Perusal at de lyrics while listening.. It recalled my memories..my everything! I really hate him.. I fisted my hands... I really wanna give him a shout! I'm afraid I'll take up my phone and give him a call then split out all my stuffs! I'm resentful!! But I know I don't havecourage to do so although sometime I hope I dare. But.. Once I cool down and think about it.. What if I really do so? He won't feel anything.. He'l feel nothing and maybe will feel that I'm very stupid! Yes.. So.. I won't do that! I won't...
I got a comment. I know who was that although she doesn't mention.. Frankly I really don't blame her.. My emotion changed while I read that comment. I felt so sorry while my friend apologizes to me and I really didn't blame her.. When she said that she touched my scar.. I really can feel the pain while I read that sentence.. Just wanna let her know.. That was not her fault.. That were 2 different stuffs. It doesn't relate with each other.. I love this friend.. I appreciate her... That's what I can say...