Friday, July 09, 2010

when everything goes against me.

Broke own again. Not a major one though.
I need to blog, as in, really blog.
Recently i've been stressing bout lotsa stuff, which I have no idea what are those about.
Another thing is,
my Bday is just around the corner. Somehow the closer it approaches, the more lonely I feel.
Firstly, I need to work on that day itself, and also on the days before and after. I don't really mind since I've decided to postpone it. Alright, here's the matter- postpone.

... ...

Without you guys.

I know, I have my family, good friends, and B right here in BW. But,
can someone t e l l how I f e e l ?

I've been missing all of you badly.

Thought of going back on the 14th, or maybe on the 13th since I have off days on the 14th and 15th. But papa's birthday is on the 15th.............

And if I go back, I don't know how is the dinner gonna be. Dinner... I had enough of feeling upset when I went back for xp's bday. I know everyone made an effort to meet of each of everyone and i feel glad and appreciated. But I just have not had enough time with you guys. It was a hard goodbye for me.

I know we're making and will still make effort for meeting ups however timing is really hard to get it right. Sigh...

I don't know, i'm very upset. That's all about it.

I was straying at home for the whole evening, accompanied with Jay Chou's and the pictures. After the rain, the warmth of the wind, reminds me of every bit.
The balcony was at my right, I was on the sofa, looking at the after-rained.


p/s: I'm not going to work tomorrow. I was struggling before making up my mind.
Cried, and stopped and cried. Walked out from the room with my cell phone, called my strong-bond partner in crime, hoping she would say 'ok lar don't go lar...'.
Crazily weeping and being overly dependent when calling her. At that moment I just needed someone to be there. Manatau that fella asked me go to work... But eventually she let me be. Thank u machi.
I was still weeping when I put on the phone. Heh...

I miss you guys so much. When are we gonna have another gaga night?


hooi jinn said...

when everything go against u. let me continue the sentence for u, 'we shall all stand by u and together we go against everything with u by our side'.

wrong timing can sometimes be very fucked up.hmm after 4 years of spending new years and christmas with u,and also staying in the same room with u,i realised that the bond between us is actually stronger than we thought.

don't worry life fucks us up.but still u pull it through many fucked up moments.but still we manage to go through it.don't worry u know we're not leaving each other.still hoping we can see each other whenever there's a chance.

i miss you very badly.especially when times where i just want a shoulder to cry on.well although u are way smaller size than me lar.and i miss the times where we just stay in b1-8-8 and just talk and chill,together with epin and monitor coming out asking us whether are we gonna sleep.

things are not ending this will never ends.the difference between us and others is that we appreciate each other and trying our best to be there.

machi,don't forget when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. see,u are now flying up in the sky.and me and epin are down here very proud telling ppl that shella is up there flying,earning big bucks yo!LOL!

u are my inner strength to stay strong and go on whenever i feel sad,and i hope i am ur inner strength to help u go through all the shits in life.

23 years of age is supposed to be happy.don't frown *wiping ur tears*

=))) cinta u always. u know that i do.

shella said...


words cant tell how much i feel appreciated and loved after seeing ur comment. although i always know how much we care about each other. ngehehhee.

thanks for putting part of the memories in words so i cud have some imagination bout monitor wearing the sleeping eye shades on his head, or epin wearing her super baggy sleeping pants, with a hole in between which is really a huge potong-ness. it's touching and, sweet too. =)
and yes, after not staying with u, part of ur images which is being my inner strength is getting clearer, that's why i would call you, whenever i really needed someone to be there, when i needed the words of support. and ofcourse many more... no matter happy or sad, you're definitely won't be forgotten to be one of those i would like to share with.

and lastly, woah, like a big sista yo- wiping my tears. haha.

i heart you too. thank you for being there.