I'm dead!

I'm dead if I keep going on like that!! What's wrong with you Lee Shella?! Look at your previous blog. It was just less than half an hour ago! Just right after you finish your blog with a sort of cheerful but you continue it with this kind of emotion?! As you can see! How emotional you are! God! Let me die! F*cker!
Looks like get frustrated right? No! I shouldn't! There was nothing! Why?! Is that a fault if I'm too into it??
Please lar, I beg U.. please let me cut off everything immediately ok? U know how I used to be; I know how I used to be. So please..
Tell me that there's no more hope for me, for us! Tell me that U don't love me anymore! Just tell me, I want U to say it out! Even if U wanna scold me that I'm annoying or whatever! Just do it! I don't care about my pride anymore! I've lost all de prides and I don't care what is that now! The last losing of the pride. I'm so sick!

I realized something and I told my roommate. When U're not get ready to be with someone, no matter what he has done or no matter if you feel pain in seeing he was so sad or suffering, you'll still remain your mind. You wouldn't change your mind. Because by the time you are unstable and selfish. I was like that. That time, I was selfish. Even I felt so sad while I saw he was loving me that deep but I still like that. Look at now. Characters have changed. Totally changed. So I knew that. No matter what I've done or how I feel, even IF he feels not that good, he won't change his mind. And most probably, I've lost the loves from de one who loved me the deepest...