Friday, October 07, 2005

guys? gals?

I feel so strange. Were those days so meaningless? So unmemorable? He had forgotten that. He can't even remember her, my roommate. Perhaps those things that revolve around me no longer are important to him since that time. I was totally speechless. Numb. Yea, numb. I was just sneering at myself and do nothing. Who cares? I can't care about it anymore and I'm strengthless to care 'bout it anymore. I'm numb enough. It’s painful. My heart is painful. I stared up and swallowed de tears. I know I cannot cry anymore. I just can let it be like that.
I was thinking, is it when a guy changed, that person who he doesn’t care anymore is totally not important to him, even those things that around that person? Yes, it is. I realized. It is true. Not only a guy, a girl does. This is human being…

I don't want to care about it! That's why I'm worried that what he does will impact me when I see him. I'm not going to let this happen. No matter what, no matter how, I'm de happiest in front of him, at least in front of him.

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