What am I suppose to do now?

Just woke up not long ago.. had 2 packs of biscuits. I only had my lunch at 1 untill now.. I fell asleep at 4 something..and I woke upat about 9:30.. Not really wanna wake up cz i know once i wake up, it makes me difficult to fall asleep.. But..whatever la.. I dun wanna hang out,..then perhaps i can sleep earlier..
I don't know why i sent a msg for her just now. Yea.. I remember that, I thought of something. Bout G.. Still care for this fellow man...
"It is impossible to you to forget someone, while he/she used to be someone very important. Even though I'm facing de cruel with courageous, I'm willing and trying my best to let go, I found that it's very tough to let go someone..very tough..", This is what I sent to her.
Neither thinking about de sweet memories btw us nor memories.. But just... I don't know why...
Know what did I dream of just now? Him.. He wanted me back.. But I decline it.. Decline with tears.. Not bcz of not loving him but bcz afraid of get hurting again...
Actually thought that wanna add him.. but I wont.. I'm not going to be de initiative one.. Wont.. I wanna avoid hurting from this guy..
There's another thing.. I'm not sure whether was my dreaming or my thinking.....
"Meet him in somewhere else, I'm happy.. erm.. is trying to show de happiest of mine.. Then I'm with another guy. That guy loves me so much. Treats me like his most beloved, his dearly... And I smile so sweet... Obviously shows that de guy loves me more than I love him... Whatever it is, perhaps that guy not my bf, jst a very close, good friend. All I want is just don't wanna get hurt from "him".."
I don't know y I got such mind.. Am I abnormal? am I metamorphosis? Hmm.. I think according to phychoanalsysis it's something that you trying to protect urself...isn't it?
I know I have to look further.. I know I wont find a right one in.. here.... And I'm not going to find for that, at least a year.. It's time for me to calm down.. But.. sometimes, something still implicates me.. I'm still care bout that, ain't I?
Friends.. What am I suppose to do? God.. Please give me a little bit more time...