My first SNY.

I have done my first day of SNY, also the very first flight with AA. Early in the morning it gave me a huge shock cause there's only 3 operating crews on board since we were suppose to have 4 operating crews, and plus me, SNY crew- the 5th ones who is just to observe and follow one of the crews, for learning purposes.

So, 3 crews, I had to become the so called operating crew, IN MY FIRST FLIGHT.
What do they expect? I mean, everyone knows, the first ever flight operation confirm will be damn kelam kabut though it's not suppose to be that way. But please lar, be logical, HUMAN BEING OKAY. WHO DOESN'T?

so overall, my SFA didn't see what I've done cause I was positioned at the AFT cabin. So, she assessed me as Average. which is grade C.

Honestly I don't like the C thingy. There are like so many boxes there and mine all rated Cs. I have D too, on those that she really saw I was blur at. I know she's not picking on me, she just assessed what she saw, and put AVERAGE on what she did not see. and this is my freaking first flight and I had to operate with other crews. Okay If I were have to just follow either one of them, I dun think I will get C.

So... I am upset and I teared uncontrollably when I arrived at home. Babes I AM SERIOUSLY EFF-ing DOWN.

So.. done for today.
Tomorrow, long hour flight.

[KUL-HKG-KUL]

Please save my ass.

p/s: I feel that I looked damn dumb and clumsy. :'(((