It's all too fast.

...

Weeks ago, I was informed that my bro would be going to UK and he was applying Visa that time.
Weeks ago, I was told that he got the approval.
Today, he told me that he would be on board on Friday. Morning.
Ya. Friday morning, 8a.m flight.
I did not give any reply to him. I kept quiet for like seconds.

"My dearest sister,
I'll be back in few months.
The visa valid for 2 years and I can enter and come back anytime.
And we can chat online also.
Remember always call Mum and Shelvon ya.
Take care ya..."

This is the msg I got from him after the phone call.

Again, I've been thinking to quit from my studies.
Everyone asks me not to think that way.
I myself asking me shouldn't think that way too.
But you know what, when I think about my mum, when I think about my sister, when I think about both my brothers aren't by their side, I think I should put the responsibilities on my shoulder. I think I should stay beside my mum, care for her, hug her,and tell her I love her before I regret.

One day,

"gal, wah.. then after you graduate you also can go to UK and get a job there too. You'll get high paid."

With her smile, mom said this to me.
Before that, how I wished I could study or work in overseas for a short period, experience the lifestyle there. How I desired that kind of life. Or even just a vacation.
But that day, I told her I did not want to go there.
She asked why. I said I wanna accompany her. Though she didnt say anything but I knew she got what I mean. She sure had some kind of feeling.

To my dearest brother, Alex,
It's really hard for me to express my feeling when I was told that you'd be leaving on this coming friday. You know, it's too, too sudden for me to know about that.
I should have feel happy and glad that you're approved to work in UK.
I don't know, I just don't want you to go yet.
You are always a positive thinker, a cheerful person and bring joy to everyone around you.
No one will purposely give me a call oftenly like you again when there's something funny to be shared with.
No one will sing those modified hokkien song with me.
No one will dance with me like you do.
No one will think what should do for mom or sis when there's special occasion with me.
Now I can hardly hear you with your unique style and your creativity on modifying words, phrases, even lyrics like no one can do.
And your talent in cook.
I miss the cheese cakes you baked.
I miss the western food you made for us.
I miss the fish you cooked.
I miss the chicken with alcohol and prawn with alcohol you specially made during an occasion.
I miss the bbq, the steamboat which every of us spent with you.
Not only me, everyone will miss the joy you brought to us.
I am so upset that I can hardly meet this kind of joy now.
Please do take good care of yourself when you're not by our side.
May all the luck and wishes be with you all the time.
I love you deeply. And I'll miss you badly.

Your sister,
Shella.