Thursday, August 18, 2005

That's y...

I can feel that. Sumay them dont like Chan. At first I asked Jinn, she said she's just normal.. She's kinda straightforward. Ppl treats her good then she'll be de same. In de other hand if someone treats her bad, she'll remember it well. She told me that before. Then I asked Ash. She said Sumauy doesn't like him but she din say she does!! Afterward I asked S.. feel that she's so fake u know. She deny that then I said "but ash said...", she was just staring at ash n smile at her. I know..San also doesn't like him.
Feel so bad u know.. When ur friends dont like someone u always be with him/her, de feeling is damn bad! I got de same cases last time.. their mind makes me feel guilty when I'm with de person they don't like. So now I dun wish to let them know I'm always with chan.
Chean asked me to open my mind n look further.. Treat a friend sincerely. I don't treat as so real alert of them but at least i m not fake to them! That's y.. But after that? feel hurting n pressure while they dont like chan..
She knows that. I told her yesterday. Then I called chean. I told him that indeed. He just told me to do de thing that makes happy.. Don't bother bout what's ppl judgement or thinking.. I know..
Sometimes I feel more comfortable while with pu3 them.
But last few days, she din leave a place for me. Everytime we sit together at class but that few days she just...haiz.. D only thing appeared in mind what? that's de way... that's a new friend. Just feel fortune while my feeling doesn't go deep then I get disappointed. But today I was having fun with'em. We can share foods together.. Yea.. even sometime I dare not to share with "them" though they're same races with me. I don't know y..
I met chan n kraft at mamak stall while on my way back to Ep. Accompanied pu3 to minimart. Then after that I went to find them. Chilled a while.. Last time I wont be like that.. I just wish that i can get back to my room, my own space(although it is not)..
I don't wanna bother bout it anymore..I just wanna b myself. I just go de way that leads me happy.. no matter it happens or not.. I'll try de hardest, try my best to let it be.

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