does it matter?

Like what?
After so many years
Back to this space.

After all these years,
Today
Now
This moment

I

Still

Have no idea about what am I suppose tondom

I wondered,  and wondered...
Am I that useless?
What do i worth of?

Perhaps you might be thinking.

But lemme tell you,

No matter how hard i treat myself,
No matter how low i look down,
No matter what, no matter how,

These people, would never give up on me.

They could be higher, and would be like ' hey... omg.. eww...."

But they dont.

As i have said,

These bunch of friends, are my greatest achievement in my entire life.

I love you all.

Xxx

我是玻璃。

Looking forward for the arrival of September.

One of my best getaways. (I)

Visiting my brother in London wasn't a day or two's plan. I had been thinking about that yet never had any further action. Until I've had no idea on what to do and where to go with my 5 days of annual leave, I decided to request for another 2 days off and OFF TO LONDON. x

Fast forward to the day I began the journey. Ray B dropped me at Pen Int. Airport. My itenerary was PEN-KUL-STN-KUL-PEN.

26th Nov 2010 night.

I was told that the immigration officer might ask me a lot of questions as I was travelling alone. Thing turned out to be fine though. =)

Got my luggage and not to forget to camwhore. BAH.

I had to meet up my brother at the Liverpool Street in London. The return ticket of it was 28.90 pounds, approximately RM 145.00.

And it was FREAKING cold even it's indoor. I was just wearing sandals. I didn't expect winter came earlier. It's was -4 degree Celsius the first day I arrived. And the best thing was, I couldn't find even ONE coffee machine.

The best option was to get to the train to keep myself warm.

Bought a cuppa Rombouts coffee with 1.90 pounds in the train. Listening to the music. That was the most awesome moment ever since I started working. Smiling all the way in the train. :))

Oh, the train stopped at Tottenham Hale before it reached Liverpool Street.

Taadaa! Arrived at destination and saw my brother standing outside when I stepped out from the train. I think I saw tears in his eyes. It was 4 years back since we last spent time together. 4 freaking years. xx

Apartment at Hunter Street.

Me. Before proceeding to Camden Town.

Boutique Hotels along the way.

Camden Town in the AM.

Random pretty earrings in the market.

Steve and I.

The yummeh donuts.

First time having Mulled Wine and I am in love with it. A cup of warm mulled wine worked so well when u're freezing outside. Cost £4.

Somewhere infront of The London Eye.

The crowd and 帅哥。

Lunch at The Sherlock Holmes.

Outside of the restaurant.

Comptons at The Oxford Circus. Russell Square.

Street towards Brunswick Waitrose. Even the hypermart also got gorgeous name.

Shopping for dinner and groceries.

Just finished reading the book I bought from the UK, Living With The Past by Sarah Preston.

And I found a paragraph which I think best describe my current relationship.

The bright light that had shone on you and I,

bringing hope with it, had become a flickering, faltering candle,

running out of both wax and wick;

a candle placed by an open window

waiting cautiously for the next gust of wind to extinguish it.

The right or the wrong ones, does it really matter now?

Now I know how I am feeling.

You broke my heart at the moment you pulled my shirt.

What's wrong with you recently?

Are. You. O. K. ?

They say, never let a man beat you cause when there's the first time, they will be the second, so and so.

I should have believed that way earlier than now cause I am also the one who beat and beat.

Human being.

Tsk tsk tsk.. such a shame.

I

SERIOUSLY

NEED TO

PUT

DOWN

MY WEIGHT.

in less than a month, 5 kgs must be gone.

I have had.

I have had the best companion during uni life.
I have had the best housemates ever like jinn, monitor, epin, chunyee.
I have had the best classmates ever like ps, leeling, etc.
I have had the best uni friends like yupin, choonhoong, san, seklee, alex, TKE! etc.
I have had the best from my the best like tasha, etc...

And I have had the best roommate ever like Jinn.

I love u guys. A lot! Mwahhhh!

a night of Saturdays.

It brings back the memories how I spent the nights with u guys.
Nothing beats it.
U guys are awesome possum.

Hugz and kisses!
P/s: I'll sort thr plan out. ZOUK. :)

when everything goes against me.

Broke own again. Not a major one though.

I need to blog, as in, really blog.

Recently i've been stressing bout lotsa stuff, which I have no idea what are those about.

Another thing is,

my Bday is just around the corner. Somehow the closer it approaches, the more lonely I feel.

[emptiness]

Firstly, I need to work on that day itself, and also on the days before and after. I don't really mind since I've decided to postpone it. Alright, here's the matter- postpone.

...

... ...

Without you guys.

I know, I have my family, good friends, and B right here in BW. But,

can someone t e l l how I f e e l ?

I've been missing all of you badly.

Thought of going back on the 14th, or maybe on the 13th since I have off days on the 14th and 15th. But papa's birthday is on the 15th.............

And if I go back, I don't know how is the dinner gonna be. Dinner... I had enough of feeling upset when I went back for xp's bday. I know everyone made an effort to meet of each of everyone and i feel glad and appreciated. But I just have not had enough time with you guys. It was a hard goodbye for me.

I know we're making and will still make effort for meeting ups however timing is really hard to get it right. Sigh...

I don't know, i'm very upset. That's all about it.

I was straying at home for the whole evening, accompanied with Jay Chou's and the pictures. After the rain, the warmth of the wind, reminds me of every bit.

The balcony was at my right, I was on the sofa, looking at the after-rained.

“缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念..."

p/s: I'm not going to work tomorrow. I was struggling before making up my mind.

Cried, and stopped and cried. Walked out from the room with my cell phone, called my strong-bond partner in crime, hoping she would say 'ok lar don't go lar...'.

Crazily weeping and being overly dependent when calling her. At that moment I just needed someone to be there. Manatau that fella asked me go to work... But eventually she let me be. Thank u machi.

I was still weeping when I put on the phone. Heh...

I miss you guys so much. When are we gonna have another gaga night?

I forget everything when I see you;
I just remember I love you.


Wahh leong dou baooooo.

totally speechless.

stop expecting me to do or say something for the same situation or whatsoever i don't know.

i love you and i will comfort you, but please be in my shoe and use ur ass to think what's going on with my condition on that time.

and once i failed to comfort you, then u say that u wont find me to talk to anymore and will find others. please la.

Dear you.

I feel so sorry that I m not there for you, with you.

I am so shocked, terrified when i read your status, after 12++ hours of that incident. I have no fucking idea if something really bad happened. I would blame myself to death.

Please my dear friend, take care of yourself..

I am feeling really bad now. I can't help you, I am not there for you.

And I am fucking fucking worry about you, as if im losing you.

You know how helpless I am now cause it's like I can do nothing but just worrying?

I can laugh with you, being crazy with you and I can definitely cry with you.

Knowing that you are feeling fucked up, I don't feel good either.

Remember I love you.

Pen updates.

BYE.

Solitary moment.

[S ometimes y ou 're just too b usy to g et e m o]

i've just have to repeat it.

Just because I'm not like you,
doesn't mean that you're better than me.

and if it does, go yourself.
Like DUH.

Artist of the day.

When boredom hit me like crazy, something caught my eye.

There it began.
But,
When I saw my work,
I felt it looked like shit and shamed to continue.

So I decided to ruin it all. Then I painted,

and painted.

chechechechengggg!


Hm...

[This is much better.]